I'm failing my course...I am unemployed...Barely making the rent for the week...
I'm so stressed and needing something to take my mind off  it...
I'm continuously having really dark thoughts...ones that I try so hard to keep pushed to the back of my mind where they will stay and not cause me, or anyone else for that matter, any kind of pain...

"So I take my time, gliding a blade down the line, each cut closer to the vein..."

My mind is so fucked up...I need help...professional help...but they can all suck my balls because they've been trained to tell stupid suck up stories to those who are actually suffering from what may actually be haunting them on the inside. Well, those have been my many experiences with them...the stupid fuckers.
I know I need the help, but I'm not ready to spend the money listening to assholes, but at the same time, I need a change in who I tell my problems to. Unfortunately, I have no one apart from my friend that lives with me.
I turned to OUR ex...yes, OUR ex. That wasn't the best idea as I felt as though she didn't understand that I actually need different people to talk to, but then again, going to our ex wasn't exactly the best person to turn to...I don't know why I turn to him. He fucked me around so bad...and I was never truly attracted to him...I used him...to try get over her...but oh well...

"Keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through...Just stay strong, 'cause you know I'm here for you, here for you..."

I still need you baby, but at the moment, I can't tell you everything because I feel that it will strain what we have...and as we both know, I don't have the greatest self control. I'm so sorry. I love you.

"I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round; And I just wanted to say I'm sorry..."