....long time blog.
Haven't seen you in a long time.

I turned 20 the other day. I feel old now.
Work is still as shit as ever.
I got told that I got a pay rise....but I never actually got it.

And three weeks ago....well you broke up with me.
Now you're telling me that I wasted your life.
That I treated you like shit.
That you never ever loved me.

But...you still want to be my best friend.

How the fuck can I do this when you don't give two shits about how I'm feeling right now.

I thought I was nearly over the heart break.

Every morning I wake up in our bed and you're not there.
You're clothes are still all over my floor.
You're still telling me you care when you obviously don't.
And you're getting bitchy at me for ignoring you.

Three years of our lives.
I loved you.

No.

I still love you.

What if I was to announce it to the whole world?

How would you feel then?

It wouldn't be hard....

I want to get motivated.I want to lose weight.Lose my tummy.Have legs again.I want to wear make up.I want to do my hair.I want to be pretty again.

got you, you little silicon eating mouse...

da easta bunni comez

"Endometriosis is a painful, chronic disease. It occurs when tissue like that which lines the uterus (tissue called the endometrium) is found outside the uterus -- usually in the abdomen on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and ligaments that support the uterus; the area between the vagina and rectum; the outer surface of the uterus; and the lining of the pelvic cavity. Other sites for these endometrial growths may include the bladder, bowel, vagina, cervix, vulva, and in abdominal surgical scars. Less commonly they are found in the lung, arm, thigh, and other locations.                                                  

This misplaced tissue develops into growths or lesions which respond to the menstrual cycle in the same way that the tissue of the uterine lining does: each month the tissue builds up, breaks down, and sheds. Menstrual blood flows from the uterus and out of the body through the vagina, but the blood and tissue shed from endometrial growths has no way of leaving the body. This results in internal bleeding, breakdown of the blood and tissue from the lesions, and inflammation -- and can cause pain, infertility, scar tissue formation, adhesions, and bowel problems.                                    

my endometriosis

scarring that i've had since birth

more endometriosis

My 
blog 
looks 
really, 
really 
ugly 
right 
now.
It 
needs 
more 
life 
and 
colour.

I wish I could spend the rest of my fucking life with you!