i don't know what's wrong...

i was talking to my aunty today on facebook. she had asked me what had happened with me and my job. i told her what had happened and it upset me...but when she tried to lecture me about not getting a loan and all this other bullshit it really starts to hack me off. not only that, but when caitlin text me to say she was on break and i replied...not getting an answer, that just upset me.

my day has been shit and adding this crap, it made me feel a whole lot worse about myself and my situation. its not my aunty's place to lecture me about my finances. its my buisness. i know she's trying to help, but when everyone is pointing out all the mistakes in my life, it really starts to hurt. especially when caitlin does it. that's because she's the one earning, she's the one who, till my loan is sorted, will be supporting not only herself, but me.

i hate that i'm so uselss. so what does aimee the smart whore do?

i cry, i let it build up and then i break my promise to caitlin. i dismantle my razor and i slit my wrists. i hate myself for being so stupid. i'm trying to put those bad ways behind me, but i can't...i just can't. everything is coming back to haunt me and i don't know what to fucking do about it.

i need help. either that, or this is goodbye...forever....



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