I hate myself when I think about how I have hurt you. I try telling myself that I'm not my dad; that I'm not an abusive bastard (well, bitch in my case). I look at you when I'm angry. You know I don't feel anything when I'm that far gone.

When I'm angry, I try to feel the love that I'm feeling for you now. I try to hold myself back from doing what my mind is telling me...but I can't. I'm the same asshole my dad was, and I have a formal warning that has been issued by the police to prove it too.

I've grabbed you forcefully; I've crushed what I could; I've put my hands on your throat. I've also thrown words your way that you dont deserve...you're not a stupid skank, and I want you to forget that I ever called you that.

I'm sorry for how I've treated you...I've treated you like shit. In my eyes, you're beautiful, and when I look and see you, sad, upset and hurt, it kills me a little on the inside.

Baby, I love you with everything. I'm just not good enough for you. You should push me away while you still can. But you don't...you can't, can you?

Please let me try fix it. I promise I'll be better. I promise to never hurt you like that again. I promise I won't run away. And I promise to never leave you.

I love you, sweetie...so fucking much. xoxox